Happy Birthday to Jesus . . . and me

Twenty-two years ago I worked as a Recreation Therapist at a retirement/nursing facility. The majority of my time was spent creating activities to do with Alzheimer's patients but I also spent time playing bingo, visiting, and doing chair exercises with residents in the regular nursing facility. It was a rewarding, exhausting and amazing experience.

A few days I go, Christmas Eve, I celebrated my 44th birthday. I love birthdays. My birthday falls of course during a very busy time of year. Over the years there have been times when the day has blended in with all the other holiday cheer and I have kinda wished for a June birthday.  But when my heart starts to go down the road of, "woe is me" I remember a very beautiful conversation with an even more beautiful woman at the nursing facility that I worked at.

For the past few days I have not been able to remember her name. It's driving me crazy. I see her face, her eyes, her frail body laying in her hospital bed. I can see her smile and can hear her voice on one particular visit.

It was Christmas Eve. My birthday. I only had to work half  day and mostly I was just visiting the residents. I was particularly happy to see Mrs. _______ (it's seriously driving me crazy). I walked into her room and she greeted me as she always did, with a big warm smile and a Happy Birthday! She then talked about how special I must feel to celebrate my birthday at such a beautiful time of the year. She spoke of the hope that Christmas represents, the joy and festive cheer that everyone has. She talked about lights and songs, ornaments and gifts. She just oozed thankfulness and wonder. She was completely bedridden. Her body crippled by disease and frail. Simple movement could cause her to crumble, her bones frail and brittle. But she embodied the entire meaning of Christmas. Hope. Joy. Peace. Thankfulness.

As she spoke about the "most wonderful time of the year" I realized how absolutely right she was. Even if my day blended in, it truly was about so much more than just me. Funny, I know. It's not all about me. I'm not saying that it's wrong to feel celebrated and loved because I am all about that! I'm simply saying, it's good to be reminded, to gain perspective and to always give thanks.

At church a couple of weeks ago Phil spoke, the title of the sermon was, "The Scandalous God. The Scandalous Gospel." If you have time listen (you might also want to listen to Behold :-)). http://www.christianfellowship.com/resources/sermons/

God came. In the flesh. Just like yours and mine. He hung out with people like just like you and me. He loved them. Healed them. Gave hope. Life. Purpose. He then gave His life for those who rejected Him--you, me, the whole world. The whole story is scandalous. And beautiful.

Because God loves us with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love-- Heaven is breaking through! He is sending us a Light from Heaven 
To shine on us like the sun To shine on those who live in darkness 

and in the shadow of death to guide our feet into the way of peace. 

(Jesus Story Book Bible)

a side-note: My birthday this year was lovely. We had a quiet morning at home. Lia and Zach woke me up with hugs and song. We opened stockings. Friends called/texted. We read the Story--His Story. We thanked Him for coming. I thanked Him for giving me New Life. We headed downtown to a new favorite spot--Uprise Cafe. I had marinara and goat cheese and drank a glass of wine! It was Noon and absolutely delightful. We then headed to St. Louis to see my family. 

It was a Happy Birthday!

Where have you been?

Last week I was thinking about two things that I have done either little or not at all in the past few months. 

1. Blogging

2. Taking Pictures

For the past 4 years I have been somewhat of a faithful blogger. It's been my space to think, share, and remember. I especially enjoyed the process when we lived in Korea. I have also enjoyed taking pictures of day to day life experiences, simple beauty around me, the obvious and the not so obvious pieces of life. With my small point and shoot camera I endeavored to improve my skill (inspired by amazing photography friends) and after friends bought a new camera, I purchased their old Canon Rebel and had even more fun.

When we returned from Korea I hit a wall. In an effort to leap over the wall, I changed the name and layout of the blog, shared some thoughts about the process of being on a pilgrimage and my desire to share more of our journey in this new season of our life.

My efforts to leap the wall failed. I have taken few pictures and have not made an entry since August. I have carried my camera with me, I've opened our blog page and nothing has happened. I sit and stare in silence feeling stuck and somewhat alone.

Last week I decided that enough was enough. I'm a pilgrim. I'm on a journey. The road is difficult, beautiful, and there are challenges ahead but I have much to be thankful for and much to celebrate. Weaved throughout each day are moments of grace, beauty, frustration and longing. I want to capture those again. I haven't abandoned all my writing--I do journal but that is a different process for me.

As I made that commitment to get off my "bum" as my friend, Kelly says, I received an e-mail from a friend asking "where is your blog?" Ha! I had to laugh because Kelly also asked why I hadn't blogged for so long. I admitted my funk and that I was going to make a return this week. 

Thanks for the push friends!

A little PS.

Kelly came to see us last week. We last saw Kelly in Korea 7 months ago. We call her our special treasure from Korea. Zach and Lia adore her--she is big sister and friend. Todd and I love her. We played games, ate good food, drank good wine, there were wrestling matches, more games, tears and dreams shared. It was good for all of us to have her here.  Another treasure, Katie, who was once in Korea and is now in KC also came for a night. We're all sad that Kel left today. Our only comfort is that she plans to return in January with another one of our Korean treasures, Anna.

Korea brought so many beautiful memories and gifts to our family. Though there were certainly challenges, we will always be grateful that we lived and shared life with a community of amazing men and woman. Moving forward and letting go is such a paradox.

Grateful.