Monday, December 17, 2007

Surprises

We returned home yesterday afternoon from a wonderful weekend in Columbia. Despite my roller coaster ride of emotions all weekend, it was so good to enjoy time with friends and to have a break from my own wandering thoughts and anxieties for a couple of days. For those of you who read this blog you may or may not know that Todd is without a job. The job that we moved to Kansas City for was a contract to hire position. It had been our understanding that the position would turn into a permanent position at the end of his contract. For whatever reasons he has yet to be hired permanently and we are uncertain if he actually will. The contract company Todd was hired through is uncertain as to what is happening and is trying to help Todd find another position and feels somewhat responsible for what has transpired. We are dealing with the government here so it's not a surprise that there are probably policies and procedures that must be done before hiring someone. That said, it has been frustrating and discouraging. Todd is applying for other jobs in the area. It's not exactly the best time to find employment but Todd is optimistic that something will work out soon.

We have never lacked anything. God has always faithfully provided for us and He most certainly will now. Though I've always known for this to be true, a reality in our lives, my heart at times is so overwhelmed that I am filled with anxiousness and fear. I've been going again and again to Psalm 37 to meditate and when I set my eyes on these truths I find rest . . .

Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. verses 3-4
I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread. He is ever merciful, and lends. And His descendants are blessed. verses 25-26
In the midst of all of this are beautiful little surprises--light making it's way into my heart through friends that God has so graciously put in our lives. Last night we were going to a friends house for dinner. I have met three really great ladies at church (Amy, Tara and Elise)--we meet together each week for prayer and to share our lives together. We wanted to get together with our husbands and kids for a Christmas dinner. When we arrived at their house Amy greeted us at the door and pinned on me a blue ribbon that reads, "Look who's 40!" We were having a little birthday celebration . . . much to my surprise! I have to say that I am still smiling by their warmth and kindness. They sang happy birthday to me . . . twice . . . I blew out the candles . . . twice--once it was just with the adults and then we decided to get all the kids in on it. We all had a wonderful time . . . good fellowship, food and wine!
Undone.
Another little surprise . . . a Secret Santa! We received an e-mail today from a Secret Santa saying that we would be receiving some special things this week! Zach and Lia both received special packages today from this mysterious Secret Santa. How fun, mysterious, and wonderful . . . I have no doubt that this "Secret Santa" is someone we love very much!!
Undone. And grateful.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Snow and Ice




A few days ago we had our first snow. Lia was begging to go outside to play in it. I was making dinner so I bundled her up and let her enjoy the snow on our balcony. She was satisfied! Last night an ice storm hit the area and we woke up this morning to the trees covered with ice. It almost feels like we are in some fairy tale land. Although it's quite dangerous and many people this morning are without power it's so beautiful. The rain continues to fall and freeze so we could being hanging out at home for a couple of days.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

when i turn 40 . . .

I am turning 40 in just a few weeks. When asked how I feel about this I respond with, "I'm really excited." I am excited. I'm not in some type of denial and this is my way of getting myself psyched about the start of a new decade of my life. I feel like there is much more for me to experience in my life, much more to learn and to enjoy and I'm looking forward to the journey. And hey, isn't 40 the new 30?

This past weekend we went to a birthday party for a friend. He turned 30. He wanted to do some crazy thing on his bike, "a test of strength and skill!" So he and some of his other biking friends were all in the garage watching and cheering him on as he set out to conqueror his birthday test of strength and skill!

I later teased him and said what was I to do now that I am turning 40 in a few weeks. What fear could I conquer? What test of strength could I face? (which sounds hilarious) or what kind of fun could I have perhaps with my friends?

At one time I wanted to run another marathon when I turned 40 but since that's out of the question I'm not sure what I should do. Todd suggested that I repel down some cliff or go skydiving. I've already been repelling and sure I was 16 years old and thought I could do anything and today I probably would be too scared to try. Skydiving? I don't think so. That is simply nuts.

Honestly, I don't have to do anything. It's not as if I'm having a crisis of identity by turning 40. But it is fun to set a goal for something and then work towards it. Or simply try something that I haven't before. Maybe I could try my friends crazy bike trick in his garage . . . probably not!

Any suggestions?

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Mom, I'm getting . . . .

I am sitting at the dining room table trying to have some quiet time. I have my journal, books, candles, and of course my cup of tea. For the majority of the past 40 minutes I have served my dear Lia. Mom, get me something to eat. Mom, watch me dance. Mom, I'm going to blow out your candles. I suggested she go play for a little while and then I would play with her.

Her first response, "No! I don't like anybody." "I'm going to leave this house." And then she announced her wedding! With arms folded and a frown on her face she shouted, "Mom, Wilbur and I are getting married. I'm going to marry Wilbur and you can't!"

I'm still laughing. Wilbur is her imaginary friend. Usually she and Wilbur are playing silly games and pushing one another over. I guess they have moved on from these childish pleasures to something more serious. She's not even 16 and she's threatening to run off with a boy . . . a boy named Wilbur. Wilbur isn't here yet. He's on his way. I guess I need to get ready for a wedding!