Cultural Differences

There are many cultural differences between Asia and the West. Some of these differences can be frustrating but often it's those differences that also make the culture beautiful.

There are challenges in trying to understand and remember the cultural differences that exist. For example; when speaking to an elder you must say hello in a formal way, but if you're speaking to a younger person or someone that you are close friends with, you are allowed to say hello in an informal way. Even if you're a younger student who is speaking to an older student there are "rules" to follow as well, and if you don't remember these rules, it could mean trouble.

Last week while I was working in the library a few of the high school students came to the library during their PE class. Each of the girls had grown up in the US but their Father's jobs had brought them to Korea. They are Asian-American. Their English--perfect. Their Korean--perfect. They don't sound like Korean students learning, English, the sound like girls who grew up in Malibu. Most of our discussion were about the foods we missed in the US. There are many.

I asked the girls how their transition to Korea has been. Each of them felt more comfortable in the US. The challenges they face in some ways are more difficult than what, we as westerners experience. Since they are Korean, they should know the cultural rules but they don't always know all of them. Even at the High School level, not following the protocol, could mean that you get beat up. I was shocked.

When someone knows that you have grown up outside of Korea, it can be extremely tough--you're not seen as being "truly" Korean. Honestly, it's a form of prejudice. One of the girls shared that while she was living in a Boarding School, a new Korean male student arrived, he didn't show the proper respect to the older students and was severely beaten. The student left the school. Each of the girls had a lot of fear coming to Korea and starting school. Thankfully, they have not had that experience at BHCS.

If I make a cultural mistake, it's o-kay. I'm a Caucasian from the USA. Not much is expected from me. I do want to honor the differences and not rebel against them, but when the response is to belittle or abuse someone else, there's a limit to what I think is acceptable.

A few of our Korean friends who have grown up in the US have shared how the adjustment for them has been difficult. They are know as 1.5's--not fully Korean or American. They have said, that when they haven't understood something, language or culturally, it's as if they are a nuisance and the "native" Korean is annoyed.

I have never experienced anyone being unkind to us since being here. Everyone we have met has been warm, kind and patient with us.

My heart is heavy for those friends who experience the weight of all that "culture" has put on them. There are double standards and frustrations that make me want to scream.

Lia this week may have experienced a little of the "tough hand" of an older student. A third grade student has on numerous occasions not been kind to Lia. It was the first time I had heard about this and was surprised by what had happened. Lia said that often this student says something to her in Korean and then gives her a mean look. Lia is assuming that it's mean because of her tone and her face--I thought, perhaps it's just the way she looks. Yesterday, the girl tripped Lia--on purpose. Lia ripped her new leggings and skinned her knee. Lia was of course, sad and unsure why this girl would treat her this way. Today when I talked to the students teacher she said that it might be a matter of Lia not giving her the respect she feels she deserves. Thankfully, the teacher is going to speak to the student and address the issue of cultural differences. The Mommy in me of course wanted to take action--don't mess with my girl! :-)

There's an old saying, "when in Rome, do as the Romans." We are endeavoring to respect the differences but more than doing things the "western" way or the "Korean" way, I desire to do things the Kingdom Way. The way that both honors God and the people He has created.

When Jesus was asked what is the greatest commandment, he said, "to love the Lord your God and to love one another."